RoundUP, NAISA, NAICA, FLAB MAG, Athens International Film + Video Festival, and Terrance Houle

As any day starts out this one has been no exception. The click of my dog's nails on the hardwood floors woke me from sleep. My dog likes to sneak in my bedroom and check to see if I'm awake. Sometimes, I greet him and welcome the day, other times I just cringe to know it's time to wake up. Thankfully, I knew a fresh pot of coffee was just minutes away from being brewed. That would definitely lessen the impact of an early rise on Sunday morning.

So the near future has been plaguing most of my waking minutes. The uncertainty of it mostly, and the somewhat seemingly directionless wandering of my days. I have the Native American Indigenous Studies Conference (NAISA) to attend in Tucson at the end of May, which I recently found out I was presented to NAISA as an affiliate of Native American Indigenous Cinema and Arts Organization (NAICA), which I am, but NAICA has somewhat shape-shifted into the more encompassing FLAB MAG and now I see my future assignment for FLAB being coverage of NAISA. Too much usage of acronyms in one paragraph, time to move on. Needless to say, I am excited for this opportunity.

At the end of April, I am fortunate to have been accepted into the 2010 Athens International Film and Video Festival, which is 37+ years old. This festival is in Athens, OH a sleepy, quaint, little town snug in the hills of south-central Ohio. It is also home to Ohio University. I am ecstatic to attend this festival, and to be honest, I usually don't get excited, but I am feeling a little excitement already. I normally reserve my excitement a couples days prior to an event. I have three short pieces in the festival: The Mechanics of Being NDN, The Ecstasy of Indigeneity Or the Passion of Billy Jack, and Technical Difficulties: a Fraud and a Fake. The last two pieces subvert famous "representations" on Un-Indians in American media, whereas the first piece comments on the objectified Native, literally. These three pieces originated from a past exhibit entitled, Round-Up, at the Urban Shaman Gallery in Winnipeg, MB Canada in October 2009. Round-Up is traveling to Santa Fe, NM August 1st, 2010 - January 1st, 2011 at the Museum of Contemporary Native Arts thanks to curator, Ryan Rice. I am already excited for this too.

Lately life has taken on the quiet hum of the mundane. Somewhere the routine infiltrated my life and pushed out creativity. It seems to have been a silent coup, no warning, no stirrings of unrest just the slow realization that something different is at the helm. Fortunately, friend and fellow artist, Terrance Houle has been able to talk me down from the ledges I find myself climbing, even as he himself has been enduring a change in his life. I am fortunate to have been asked to take part in one of his upcoming exhibits. In the fall, Terrance and I will be heading to Germany to collaborate on a video piece together and currently I am in pre-production on a feature length documentary that will utilize Terrance as the interviewer. Stay tuned.

Aimless - No GPS

Good-bye 2009, mundane and poisonous as you were. Hello 2010, thanks for starting off all jacked up without any clear indication of what you might be providing me in your first three months. This morning, I received notification from Ithaca College of my rejection for teaching in their film program, that makes three or four times now that I've literally applied for the same position and the third or fourth time that I've been rejected. Hmm? I know when I'm not wanted! Being that I only live a short drive away I thought I might be able to get my feet wet teaching in their program, but not even an adjunct bone has been tossed my way. This lone wolf is getting ravenous.

The beginning to this new decade is humming right along past me, as I practically lay prone in a defeated and beaten fetal position. Already? Jesus, it's a bit early for being beat down in 2010. I've gotta get my head above water and start treading like there's no tomorrow, tomorrow might just be as painful as today if things continue to go as capital as they have been last year and these past three months. I was looking forward to accomplishing a lot of things this year, but I feel so damned tired. Granted, daylight savings just ended and this time change has been taking somewhat of a toll on me, so maybe it's a temporary thing, it better be a temporary thing.

Although, I can say with the negative comes the positive, you can't have one charge without the other, can you? I don't think so. Some good has occurred within these past three months, which I believe balances out everything. Maybe I should look upon this as a fresh start? Like the board has been wiped clean. To be honest, I am a pessimist, that holds on to an ounce of optimism. Although that doesn't help me plod through all the muck and the mire.

I can say I've had the fortune of communicating with friend and fellow artist, TJ Houle and he's been helping me keep my outlook looking brighter than I have been able to illuminate it on my own. I am actually becoming the proud owner of one of his photographs, so my collection, small as it is, is slowly growing. We are planning on collaborating this year, and I am scraping and scrounging every cent to make sure it happens. I am also planning on meeting up with him in his travels to Toronto and NYC, which will be a grand meeting of the minds.

Ideas come and go, some get written down others are simply so fleeting there isn't even time to grab a pen and paper to catch them before they get lost in the ether. Lately, I feel like I have misplaced my pen and paper as I struggle to even piece together the ideas I have to make them coherent, but I also struggle to get the words out to enable myself to speak at times.

If it weren't for FLAB MAG, friend's Maria and TJ I think I'd become complacent in the position I am in, but I am warring to get out. I am hoping for great things and rearing my ugly head as hard as I can to make things happen, only time will tell if they will. There is hope, even without a GPS.

On the road to the 2010 NAISA Conference

Well, I'm not literally on the road yet, the conference isn't until May 20th, and I will be probably flying out on the 19th. I still have to purchase my tickets and soon. All I know is the panel I am on is presenting 8:00am on May 20th, first slot, first day. Good lord, I hope I will be coherent in my presentation. Thankfully, I am presenting one of my video pieces, "The Ecstasy of Indigeneity Or the Passion of Billy Jack." A deconstructed American cult icon film character re-edited to juxtapose the ridiculousness of the portrayal. Other than that, I am looking forward to being in Tucson to absorb sun, and meet many scholars. The unfortunate aspect is that friend and curator, Ryan Rice, who is bringing my Winnipeg exhibit, Round-UP to the Museum of Contemporary Native Arts in Santa Fe sometime in August, will also be presenting at the exact time I am presenting, or the panel I am on will be presenting.

The Winter of My Discontent

It's been over a month since I've blogged last, not that anyone in cyberspace is keeping track. It appears that as I've grown older I am no longer immune to the dark, dreary, long days of winter in which I grew up. I long for the sun-filled days of Colorado and her majesty, but I feel that I've been held captive by Syracuse with no way out until a rental lease has ended and a job has been secured. We all know how the economy is and that has been a relatively good indicator of how thin the job market is and how unsuccessful my job search has been. Now to leave Syracuse and my friends and family might seem unfathomable, but the Southwest, the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, as well as the Pacific Northwest have been calling and their call is loud and clear. Where will I end up? I have no idea. But anywhere, where I can have a change of scenery and remove myself from this quagmire called Syracuse will help in establishing some long lost sanity while removing the overcast haze that has plagued my creativity.