Departing Syracuse

This past weekend I came to the conclusion that I will no longer live in Syracuse after July 31st, 2011. That's the end of my current lease. Here's my reasoning. My Alma Mater, the University of Colorado, Boulder is again advertising a job position for cinema artist. I have applied twice for this position since 2007. I have been told that my screening or exhibition record doesn't meet their criteria, which I can understand. I don't have a great amount of festival experience within the larger, more prestigious festivals. Although, over the past two years my work has begun to grab attention of the gallery/exhibition realm and I've been concentrating on that.

Now, I love Boulder and the University even though I live in NY, I remain a part of the Native community in the Boulder/Denver area. If I think about where I've lived in the past, I have never been happier than to have lived in Boulder. I have a large circle of friends in Boulder and I couldn't ask for greater friends than them. Syracuse has been good to me, but not in the manner that Boulder or Colorado have been. My circle of friends have diminished greatly in NY and the remainder of my friends are spread out over a few cities/towns.

I figure that applying once again for this position at CU cannot hurt me. My ideal job is to teach at the university level and my ideal place to live is in Boulder and I am connected to Boulder by roots that have never died since I left.

NY will always be my home locale, but since my family here is busy living their lives I have to look for a place where I will be happy and successful and able to have a healthy, normal social life, that doesn't depend on when my brothers or friends have time for me, because that time has become almost non-existent. I love my brothers and friends here, but I need to take a chance regardless of having a job and move back to Boulder where my happiness existed not only with my friends but with the overall environment.

My past dreams were to attend CU-Boulder and work for the Native American Rights Fund, those dreams came true, or rather I made them happen. I also dreamed of attending the MFA Film program on a full ride at Syracuse University and that also happened. A person can only follow their heart, regardless of what their mind might say to them and I will continue following my heart and dreams. Since moving back to NY I have become quite comfortable and that's often dangerous since I no longer take that many chances in my life, which has made me very passive and I need to be active again . . . I no longer feel alive. I feel like I'm just existing and just existing isn't acceptable.

I will definitely miss everyone I currently work with and for, my current job is great. It's equivalent to the Native American Rights Fund as far as the individuals that I work with, great people. Unfortunately, my job is considered contracted and not a full position within the University or within my organization. My freelance employers are wonderful too, and they will be greatly missed, but I can foresee completing my work for them within the next few months.

So, Colorado, here I come . . . rather I will be, next year!